Ch-Ch-Changes

Super quick update, new blog title, same old me. I'm stepping out of my black cluttered, band-T comfort zone and into a more exciting place. I'm happier, I'm inspired and flippin' ready for anything; mainly bed.. (teething is fun). My pencils are sharpened and my brain is spewing out outfits. I've loosened up on the diet plan, still eating healthy but also not aspiring to be that unreachable person that I'm not even sure I want to be. I'm content within myself. I know I'm chunky, fat, obese, whatever. But don’t worry about it, I'm not going to eat you. 
Got some exciting stuff coming up and loads of new things to post about. Next post up tomorrow feat. diy flower/pom pom head band. Yes please.

Wiggin' it

Well it had to happen again soon, it was inevitable. After years of bleaching, dying and partly shaving my hair, it had officially died a horrible death; different lengths of black straw and huge ginger roots. I'd buggered it and there was really no way back. The clippers were lying around from shaving my partners hair, and I thought, "fuck it I've shaved it all off before, I'll do it again." I'd had a chelsea haircut for a few years whilst in college and loved how low maintenance it was. The only difference now being, I'm a lot more lady like (paha, at least in my appearance I am) and back then I was all about the rough punk/skinhead look. And so, armed with a thin scraggly fringe and a very cold scalp, I embarked on a wig hunt.

I've followed a company on Instagram, Geisha Wigs, for ages and I've always admired them. Their huge selection of styles/colours and at an unbelievably reasonable price tag (It seemed most were around the £20 mark) really made them stand out for me; but for some reason, I'd never even considered wearing wigs before. Instead I'd spend hours, days and weeks getting my hair the colour I wanted, then load it with extensions. I should've got on with it a lot sooner and built up a collection from Geisha Wigs, because as of recently the owner has decided to close down business. I checked out their closing sale and stumbled across this little beauty; 'Sunrise'. A gorgeous, long, ginger wig.

I couldn't believe the quality. It's thick and bouncy and so smooth. I bought it with the intent to restyle and cut. This is how it looked straight from packet.

 I fell in love and felt like a princess. I could've been an extra in Sleeping Beauty and wouldn't of been out of place. But it was too much for me. I felt it needed to be shorter and have some thick Betty bangs. This is the end result.

Absolutely perfect. My natural hair isn't at all far from this colour and I dream that one day my own hair will be this luscious. But for now, I need to search for another company that sells amazing wigs (or trawl through eBay for Geisha Wigs products) and build up my locks collection!

Can anyone recommend any companies or shops? What are your favourite wigs?

-x- 

Let me explain

Aside from having a love for fashion there is another underlying reason as to why I've started this blog now. 

Let me explain.

Rewind to September '13, I joined Slimming World. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember, I have faffed around with various diets and such and nothing had ever really worked. I'd heard of Slimming World and after my sister had joined I decided to tag along. The first meeting was very emotional, apart from being pumped full of energy and ready to go with the weight loss thing, I was amazed at what my weight had spiralled up to. To be 23st at 21 years old was a huge shock to my system and to cut a long story short, I stuck at the food plan and I lost 3 & 1/2 stone. I did plenty of exercise and was determined to be a smaller me.

Now, let's skip forward to March '14.  It was around this time that I found out I was pregnant, and of course I over joyed! Circumstances and pregnancy related issues made me stray away from Slimming World, although at 40 weeks (I didn’t pop 'til 42 weeks), my weight was around the 19st mark. I thought, especially with this weight including the weight of my little-one-to-be and all the other pregnancy yack, that I had done pretty well not to balloon over the 9 months.

Ever since I got pregnant, I had every intention of getting back on Slimming World and getting down to my 'ideal' weight as soon as I was ready. For me that was 6 weeks post-natal, January '15. Everyone had told me that my post-preg body would never be the same and I accepted that, but I still wanted to be smaller.  I stuck to the plan and the weight was slowly coming off.

So, up to date. I had a bit of an epiphany. All this time, my only reason for ever wanting to be 'smaller' was so I could find clothes easier. I've never wanted to lose weight to conform or to feel 'normal', I just wanted it to be easier. By easier I mean, I would love to be able to nip to Primark last minute and find something to wear for a night out; instead of trawling the internet for a dress that I can't try on beforehand.

The reasoning behind the title for my blog; since having my baby, I've found myself trying to conform and trying to be that 'mumsy' type of person. I even dyed my hair brown.. I've really been struggling with what people are thinking about me. Not necessarily just about how I look, but about peoples presumptions of my parenting. 'She's not the normal kind of mum' those sorts of things.  I have never been that 'normal' person (what is normal anyway?).

I know in myself I am a perfect mother, my hair colour isn't going to change that. And neither is my weight. 

Finding something just to go shopping in would be a nightmare, everything is too tight, too colourful, too baggy and I was always back down to my leggings, a vest and a big coat.  I would put a dress on and tights etc then last minute I would say to myself 'are you really gonna wear that?' and get changed.

Then something clicked. My brain has snapped into order. I don’t need to lose weight, I don’t need to change my hair, my style. I don’t need to change anything. I want to be happy and if eating a bar of chocolate does that. So what?

I love eating healthily and if losing weight is a by-product of that, then so be it. Weight is a number, something we can never be defined by. Whether I'm 10 stone or 200 stone, it's my choice. Whether I am healthy or not, is my choice. I would rather focus on being happy with what I have. I will wear what I want and I'll look amazing. My body is amazing; it made another human being, for fuck sake!

If I got to my 'ideal' size, I still wouldn’t find anything to wear in Primark. It's just not me. From now on, I will make an effort when I want, and I will wear a full face of make-up to Aldi if I want to and I'll still wear my maternity jeans because they're comfy. Who's cares?

I'll ask my mirror self 'are you really gonna wear that?' and I'll say HELL-FUCKING-YES.

-x-

A bit about me

My name is Ruby, I'm 23, I live in a 3 bedroom house with my fiancé and baby son in Blackburn, NW England. My dream is to have enough money to build my own apartments, one for us three, one for a workshop and one for some cats.

I've started this blog as a place for my brain to spit out all my ideas, findings and inspiration and well, because Instagram just isn't enough sometimes. In all honesty I feel I'm lacking an outlet for my creativity and think this blogging business might just be the ticket! I intend to blog about fashion mainly. Handmade, plus-size, charity finds, vintage, shoes, whatever is sparkly.. Think goth, punk, horror and tonnes of glitter, feathers and 80's vibes thrown in for good measure.

I would love to work for a magazine and pretend I'm in Ugly Betty. Or draw pretty fashion pictures for a living.